brothers and sisters

Sure, we all look innocent enough, now, but there was a time when...

Wade was a cool older brother. Despite all of his teasing and abuse, I always looked up to him. He was his own person. I credit him for my love of Simon and Garfunkel, The Doors, and hippy ways (like loving the earth and peace). He was mysterious. I mean, he played the tuba, for heaven's sake. No one could tell him what to do. Instead, he told us what to do. At his hand, I ate cocoa powder thinking it would be sweet, tasted crate paper expecting something yummy, bullion cubes (on more than one occasion) thinking it was chocolate, and I bit into tinfoil which sent me soaring because of the cavity in my mouth. I was so gullible, and Wade knew it. He also had names for all of his torture techniques like "poison breath" (he would hold you down and blow slowly in your face - mind you - he rarely brushed his teeth - and you would hold your breath as long as you could until finally gasping for air that reeked like nothing I can describe), "The calf-calfer" (where he would dig his fingers into your calf), and many more. He was also know to cut his finger nails to a point so that they could do more damage when they dug into your skin. Through these techniques, and just plain manipulative logic, he had us wrapped around his finger. While watching TV he would say things like: "who ever brings me a drink of water first won't get hit." This would send who ever was in the room racing to the kitchen. We all knew that he wanted one peice of ice with that, so it was a mad dash from the sink to the freezer, water flying everywhere as we rushed the drink back downstairs. Sure enough, who ever wasn't fast enough would get a dead arm. Yes, this is the guy in whose hands mom and dad left us sometimes. They gave him full power over us. "If he tells you to move you mattress into the street and sleep on it, you do it." Great. One time Wade had sent me to my room for some incredibly unjust (in my mind) reason. I was so upset that I climbed out my 2nd window for the 1st time (I say 1st because I became pretty good at it later on) and walked to the church where my mom was to tell her all about it. Years later, I remember Wade sincerely apoligizing for not always being the good big brother that he thought he should have been. He has certainly redeemed himself.

I think Mandy can agree with me that - sadly - we weren't very close growing up. When we were very young, I remember following her lead in house and that sort of thing, but as we got older, we grew apart. We had personalities that just clashed. I didn't feel I could confide in her. We fought a lot. I feel like we missed out on a lot together. I wish we could have been close. I remember quietly taking fashion and music tips from her. I really didn't know what to like or what was cool, so I watched her. I loved borrowing her clothes (even though she charged me $1 for every item), I loved listening to her music. I loved learning how to babysit from her, and becoming old enough to take some of her clients when she couldn't go. I loved getting her hand-me-downs. I loved her friends. They seemed so cool. I remember once when we were sitting down with our primary classes in sharing time, I looked at her class and thought about how cool it would be when I got old enough to be in that class with those friends. I figured out later - to my dismay - that I would be stuck with my same class for the long haul, never reaching the cool, older class of girls. I loved learning to sing by her side while mom played the piano. I loved pretending to be "Victoria Davenport" with her on a vacation. I have to give credit to Mandy who unexpectedly encouraged my to try our for cheerleader. I still don't know why she did that. She was the reason I decided to do it - against all logic I had in me. She even took she shopping to buy an outfit to try out in. I was very grateful to her. I remember that when mom heard I was going to try out, she responded by saying with a surprised voice, "Can you even yell?". The whole experience really helped me come out of my really very shy and insecure world. And although I am not particularly proud of the fact that I was a cheerleader now, I am grateful because I learned a lot from it all. I am SO glad that Mandy and I are close now. We really connected and built a meaningful relationship in Maryland. I felt like I was gaining a sister out there! It was wonderful.

Kristen was my shadow growing up. Most of the time I think I loved that (I didn't have a lot of friends), but sometimes she got on my nerves! I remember yelling at her to stop copy-catting me. I rememer runnung away from her and slamming the chain-link fence behind me, not knowing that it would smakc her in the face and make her mouth bleed. I felt pretty bad about that. We were pretty tight, but that meant that we knew how to push each other's buttons, too. She was a great little sister, very loyal. Even when I gave her "snake bites" (a torture technique of Wade's) and then begged her not to tell mom and dad because I was sorry. We did everything together. One of our favorite past-times was rearranging our bedroom. We would spend hours drawing out possible floor plans, discussing them, and then making one of them happen. Some of them were pretty ridiculous. We'd tape up the room into "my side" and "her side". One time I had to literally jump over her "side" to get in and out of the room because it was right in front of the door. We looked so much alike, too. Everyone got us confused, including dad. We were often mistaken for twins, and we didn't mind. On vacations we'd often say that we were twins. This is a side note, but I remember how closterphobic she was - and Wade loved that. I remember learning not to be closterphobic by watching her and the way that Wade took advantage of that. He loved to drive her to tears in sleeping bags, and his tuba case. I actually liked being in the tuba case. Another thing about Kristen was that she developed a habit of licking her fingers - all the time - because they were dry. They became chapped and red. We all remember the awesome finger-licking good performace that Kristen did in the Sunshine Generation. It was hilarious!

Clay was a funny little brother. I remember his contageous smile - which he wore all the time. Before he could smile, though, I remember going to see him in the hospital. I was only 5, but I remember because we were also there to see Grandpa Webb, after whom Clay got his middle name. Later on, Clay was always running around in a cowboy hat, a diaper, and cowboy boots. His curly yellow hair was so different from the rest of us. When he got older we would tease him that he must have been adpoted. He loved G.I. Joes. He loved playing. I remember that he had to use "Hooked on Phonics" because he just didn't care to learn how to read or anything. He was busy playing. He did have a serious side, though. When we would play "town*" together on Sunday after chuch, he would always want to be a businessman. He would set up his keyboard (that wasn't attached to anything, stay in his church clothes, and ... be a businessman. Now, in "town" each person did something - offered some sort of service for the others in the town. You could go to the restaurant and order food, or to the bank to get money, etc. So, we asked Clay, "What do you do?" and he would respond simply that he was a business man. "But what do you DO?" There was no real answer... just "business". I remember Clay always being totally normal sized for being such a premie. He did, however have to have a few operations, which were a pretty big deal in my mind.

Jackson was such a little man. He was born following the footsteps of his old man. He looked like him. I remember him being a pretty chubby baby, too. He was serious, but not too serious. He wanted to do things right, and often used a cute gruff voice. He worked hard and he played hard. He like wearing the same uniform as Clay did when he was young (cowboy hat and boots and a diaper). One memory I have of Jackson is him shoving his hand deep into Grandma B's cookie jar (after Grandpa Fory encouraged him), only to fill it so full that he couldn't get it out of the jar. Grandpa just told him to put some in his pockets, then get more. Jackson always seemed to be willing to try new things. I remember he used to let us older girls paint his fingernails and do his hair. He got a kick out of the silliness of it all. I would say that he was a good sport, but I also remember going to some of his baseball games where he was not as good of a sport as one might hope. He had a tendency to take sports very seriously and become very competitive. His competitive nature (often with his older brother, Clay) got him a long way. Another thing about Jackson was that he was really good at teasing Wade. I witnessed and learned through much experience the trickle-down effect of teasing.

Josie came into to this world doomed to be spoiled by 6 older sibling who would later resent her for it. Poor thing, she didn't have a chance. We really all did spoil her in the beginning. She was a sparkly child with bright eyes and curly hair. Everyone adored her! She was born with terrible teeth and had to have a lot of work on them. Mandy didn't care, though, she just loaded on the candy in order to maintain her "favorite sister" status that Josie would tell us all about with some frequency. I can remember Josie staggering around the livingroom walking like a drunk and running into walls after being drugged for the dentist one time. It was entertaining. Josie seemed to be just what mom ordered. A girl that loved to sew and all of the things that us other girls had failed to do. We were glad that Josie could fill that void for mom. We knew that she and mom had a special bond, unique from the rest of us, and that was okay. After a while I felt bad that Josie got picked on by us older siblings, and could see that she just wanted to belong (not like an annoying little sister) for real. She used to ask Kristen and I to talk with her like grown-ups - like we talked with each other. She wanted to be taken seriously so badly. But then she would also pull stunts like "annoying night", an evening of uncontrolled annoying energy that would be directed to tired me in frenzied fits of laughter and weirdness. It was pretty funny... and annoying :).

I LOVE YOU GUYS!

*Town was a big deal at out house just about every Sunday. We would rearrange and basically take over the entire house. It was a lot of work to set up an actual town in a livingroom. The usual options for occupation were banker (responsible for making and giving out money - and alway the richest one...hmmm), photographer (responsible for setting up photo shoots and then drawing them for the customer), and the restaurant owner (who had to hit mom up for some snacks to then serve as gormet dishes). And let's not forget the businessman! In my mind, Town was so much fun, a wonderful thing that we all did together.